Exposed

I can't tell anymore,
When they ask if I'm okay,
I don't know 
Am I? 
I painted this picture Black 
And now they are trying to peel off the paint 
And expose what is hidden underneath
But I already know what's there
It's me; just the way I am
But if it wasn't bad,
If there wasn't something wrong,
Why would I try to hide it?
And why do they all say the same thing?
The same questions over and over again.
As if they all have seen the same event 
But I am the event, and technically the same 
person that they have all seen
No, I have not always been the same
Acted in the same way in front of them all
Or maybe I have, Have I forgotten?
Obsessive in my thoughts, have I gone mad?
Reiterate the question, have I gone mad???
And I just can't pinpoint it, my motives
The reason behind my madness
I must have been pulled in a certain
direction at a young age, because today 
I find myself hopelessly lost in the current
moment and cannot change how I feel
The need to do the unnecessary just for the 
sake of doing so is a simple, and yet 
compulsive, no, intrusive thought 
always entering through my mind
My messed up little mind
I live so far away from what is Real.