Eye Of The Beholder

I grew up a girl who

Was Black, fat, tall, and loud

Traits that are deemed ugly

That need to change 

Or I need to be adjusted 

To be accepted

I did just that 

The diets that crashed

30 pounds gone there

20 back

Here where I 

Thinned my brows 

Because my body just won’t 

I quieted down, said less

Wore more, covered up

My hair, my skin

My identity 

Still not enough 

Always ready to fix and tweak

Another hair to tweeze

Always another product to buy

I seem to always be dry

Always room to improve 

And time to see

Where and what 

Research how and by when

In ways that are healthy and 

Some that are solely effective 

But it’s never good enough 

Always temporary 

I sit and listen to the gospel 

“That’s all I got in the end…me, myself, 

and I”

Take a vow

Take a long look

In the mirror, in my eyes 

And I see myself in 

Glory and gratitude 

With textured skin, untamed hair

Untamed spirit 

Bold and always beautiful 

Just blinded, perhaps it’s the astigmatism 

I put on different glasses 

New mind frames

What beauty really is

What it looks like 

Feels like 

To me

I’m becoming a woman who 

Is Black, fat, tall, loud

Iconic, funny, beautiful 

Loved

What I wanted all along 

Was in my mirror 

Waiting for me