Fade

the world used to glow

the vibrant colors 

the radiant smiles of strangers

the world still pure magic

but the light of the world began to slip away

the colors dimmed with my motivation

friends went in the dark 

the magic became a facade of perceived childhood

reality swallowed the light that once was

and I began to fade into that world

reaching to be a cookie cutter mold of society

the most intelligent

the most gorgeous 

the most popular

the most successful

but I couldn’t

no matter how much of myself I put into that person I dumbfoundedly admired to be

I couldn't be her

and as I reached for the bottle of pills that looked like a saving grace

something in me flung my hand away

I realized that I had not been alive long enough to be gone so soon

I had been a child until then

blind to the world that was true

the truth about the world 

is that there are so many bad things

but you cannot overlook all the good

the devil doesn’t exist without an angel

I found the twinkle among the pitch black night skies

I faded out of the dark and into the light

and I don’t want to think about what would have been if I had not

being an adult is so different than what I was taught to think

being an adult means that you need to leave the darkness 

and find the light that was meant to be yours