Fading

I lay here waiting, anticipating,

while my hope continues dissipating.

My body is becoming paralyzed,

as I start accepting lies, which I have fought so hard to deny.

What am I waiting for?

For the light in my life to finish fading,

 so much sadness it is debilitating.

Why?

I will be able to provide a definite excuse,

of why it is easier to be obtuse.

A reason to not care of all I have lost,

a explanation for the frost surrounding my heart.

So I am waiting...

for any love...

any reason to live...

and the light in my life...

to finish fading.

Help! Please!

Can you not hear me?

Perhaps, my soul is not speaking clearly.

If you are listening, I want to be loved, feel love!

I know this is a weird request, but I need this quite dearly.

Whatever defenses I had, were broken down,

from the strife in my life.

Will you please show me there is more to life,

more to life, than my constant darkest nights.

Can you?

Please hurry!

I do not have much fight left in me!

Could you bring back color to my dreams?

So much pain! So much stress! Always reinforced with my lack happiness.

It hurts so much, I have stopped waiting for it to be gone,

and just for when the pain is less.

My face is red from the many tears I have shed,

and my chests hurts from the times I did not cry.

It hurts from the frantic pounding of my heart from my constant dread.

I am waiting for my soul to sigh, and ever so slowly, start to die.

Help! Please!

Do you not hear my heart's constant yelps?

This is not to any particular human being, I am appealing to all humanity.

Who am I?

I am the guy from work with a constant smile,

all the while, feeling such a way.

I am the child who never had much to say,

yet, having always felt this way.

I am the person, who feels as such,

even with all the many possessions I had.

I am dad, who had never bothered to be much of a father.

I am the person whom you would have never expected.

 For there were no signs which could be detected.

What can we do?

Love and keep on loving,

 no matter who they are.

From the lowly persons to the biggest stars.

Please help. Give me reason.

For now I am waiting...

for any love...

any reason to live...

for the light in my life...

for my pain...

and for my pounding heart...

to finish fading.