Fading Friends

As they slowly diseaper, it becomes easier to forget them.

You mourn your loss like a death, then move on.

But they're not dead, they're just quite distant.

Its a harder pain than the loss of life,

because this is a reoccuring pain.

When you begin  to feel better, 

they show up again,

and remind you that they still exist.

Its the repetition of the loss that drains your soul.

You find yourself crying in showers,

as you drive to the store,

and as you rest your head on your pillow for the night.

You realize it was not something as simple as death that took them away

but by their own choice they left you. 

Its a form of torture that leaves you questioning your self worth

your emotions, your actions, 

What did you do wrong?

Eventually it will get easier again,

but you will always live in fear.

Fear of the pain to come when you see them again.