Fading Paper & Bleeding Ink

I don't know how to talk to you anymore. 

I'm not sure I ever knew. 

Doubt and fear run deep rivers in my mind. 

I picked up my pencil twenty times 

But words that normally fly away from me stayed,

Trapped underneath fingers of glass I'm afraid I might shatter

Because my heart and mind have been broken for you before. 

And lately, I've bled enough. 

"Are you okay? Are you okay?" 

I thought I had dodged it from you and for you. 

I am selfish and useless in friendship

Because, my friend, I am breaking. 

Scratched and scarring in black welts

From the dark ink of my page and my tears instead of mere blood and water. 

Wait until my face shows the fear suppressed, 

Then you can be afraid, as long as it's not for me. 

Maybe I will whisper to you once more

If you hear my sobbing prayers screamed to the rain.