Failed Writer
I have failed as a writer
I’m living in a bubble unaware of the world around me
I can’t even hear the music in the wind anymore
I can’t see the shift and bend of human interaction
not even the intoxicating aroma of love can please my mind
heck i don’t even think there is a speck of inspiration left in me
All I seem to be able to do is admire other people's work
Hearing their passion gives me goosebumps
And I think to myself whether or not I do the same
I probably don't but in the end it's okay
I'm still an amateur listening to the Dormroom EP by Suli Breaks
laying down in total darkness
feeling like a carcass
because my world no longer caries a scramble of words
Jumping at me with enthusiasm
Waiting to be read, to be heard
Its blank and void of thought
Of compassion of anything resembling an emotion
I sought for the expansion of my perspective
And now i find myself a captive of my own insanity
Bending me backwards and forward
Twisting up what ever piece of dignity I had left
Maybe
Just maybe this is for the better
To put an end to this sick twisted ploy
Designed by the villain known as reality
Maybe I should just stop
Maybe then the laughter will die
And the world will become silent once again
So I can go on living in peace
Living as a captive of my own emotions
Not ever knowing whether or not the feelings I have are true
Not ever knowing if anything that I have written is true
I think I might as well as quit
If I'm living with so much doubt in my abilities
It maybe silly to others but for me
Giving up just makes sense
How could I stop
I'm in love with everything related to writing
The ticking of a typewriter plays like a beautiful symphony
That wakes me up every morning and puts me to sleep
The mixing of blood and ink has never ceased to amaze me
even now
as i read this to you
everything seems to disappear
the worry, the depression, even the fear
no longer resides within me
these entities, these toxins have found an escape
I can honestly say that giving up is just a nightmare
And I don’t ever seeing it becoming anything more
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