a faithful process

thoughts of my consciousness dare me to be different while my actions are persistent thoughts of my consciousness dare me to say no while my body says i'll control thoughts of my consciousness dare me to stand while my will falls i crawl to him but my legs in chains invisible pains burdens that reign over me and only me correcting and directing me never proud to be stalling and surpressing never proud to be denying, enhancing still never proud of me never amounting thus still reaching preaching in hopes of changing crying followed by thinking hoping followed by wishing smiling followed trusting in him.