fake love

fake love

you loved me so much that you crumpled up my trust

and found comfort inside other girls guts

because you loved me

you mentally beat the living shit out of me

to hurt me so i could never forgive you

you loved me so much

that when i looked at myself in the mirror

my cheeks would be stained wet with tears

trust was nothing but a concept

any love for myself dwindled away with tears

you loved everything about me so much

you went on to describe what you really wanted in a girl

how you loved black straight hair and pale skin

i sat there with tears in eyes

living the rest of my life

hating my wavy brown hair

along with my ethnic brown skin

you started the beginning of the end of who i was

you took from me until there was nothing left

you will never know about my suicidal thoughts

my tendencies

you never cared for how depressed you made me

and you will never read these words

you’ll never know they even existed

you had to break me to bits

you had to make me hate myself before i could start hating you

i realized then

you didn’t love me

you loved to hurt me

to control me

i left and you didn’t care, that's when i realized you never cared at all

it was fake love all along

-an expert from the memories of the girl you destroyed