fake a smile

Sometimes I lay and think damn look whats happening to me ....all the blood shed sweat soaked sheets on my bed but I wake up every morning with a fake smile even tho my tears can go hundreds of miles. I act happy just so the frequent event dont affect me. Losing loved ones and every other day bad news comes ...but I still smile why ny family is dying I hold back all tge crying and be strong because I know that my family doesn't have very long ..