Falling, Still Rising

The stars were so bright, so beautiful to look at, I felt I could just reach out and grab them when my turn came. I didn't understand why people found it so hard… until it was my turn. Then it was my turn, and I saw it… I saw how far away they really are. I saw the staircase leading up to the sky, reaching the brightest star of them all. I saw the staircase of thorns and quicksand and lava, but also of sceneries so enchanting, also of happiness and joy and pride. I sat for hours planning every detail of my journey up the staircase. I know of the wonders awaiting me, and I'm very excited to see them, but I also know of the thorns and quicksand and lava I have to go through. And here it is… It is my turn to climb the staircase of my dreams. I am so confident I can do it. I know I can glide up the stairs if I take the first few steps. But I am scared… I am so scared of losing the comfort of the castle I lived in. I am so scared of the long, exhausting journey ahead of me. Deep inside, I know my castle is crumbling. I know it is slowly turning to dust, but I turn a blind eye toward it. I just want to stay in the comforts of my castle. I want to enjoy my pretty red rose gardens. But I know this castle is just an illusion. I know if I stay here any longer, I will crumble along with it. But I just cannot bring myself to step away. I see all my friends leaving me behind on my own. I want to follow them, but I am too hesitant to climb that first step. I am standing with one foot on the staircase and the other chained to my castle. No, I know the chains are not real, but it's so hard to move them. What am I scared of? Am I scared of leaving the comforts of my castle, or of climbing the endless staircase leading to the brightest star? Or am I just a big, spineless coward? I am a coward, too scared to follow my own plans. I am going CRAZY. I NEED to step away before it all comes crashing down, but I can't. I just CAN'T. I am going CRAZY. And I don't know why… I don't know why I can't step away. I don't know HOW to step away. I am just a coward, A big spineless coward. The ground is crumbling beneath me, and I am crumbling along with it. This is what happens to cowards They are left in the dust... ...The ground is crumbling beneath me, I see the endless void, My feet are frozen, I try to move— I can't. My breath catches, My heart is pounding against my ribs. This is it. I close my eyes, I let go. ... But I don't fall, I don't fall. Hands are gripping my withered wrists, Pulling me up, pulling me out of the starless void. Pulling me to my feet. Shaking me, "Child look at me", Urging me, "Child come with me" I suck a breath and open my eyes. I see a tender hand held out. Tears are streaming down my face. "I'll hold your hand and walk with you. I'll cheer you on when you're struggling. I'll pluck the thorns from your feet. I'll heal your blisters and your burns" "So, dry your eyes and look ahead, Forget the void, hold up your head" "Go on child, I am with you" I am not alone. I wipe my eyes and look ahead, a star shining so bright. With eyebrows scrunched, I take the first step. Oh... That was easy My feet are heavy, but I climb, another then another. I can climb, Oh I climbed. I see the sceneries so enchanting, the joy and pride in a distance, I feel the wind blowing through my hair, I spread my hands and stand still. Oh the staircase of my dreams. Maybe, I am not crazy. Maybe I can fly. But the staircase is yet to end. I see the thorns and lava, I halt, my eyes wide. But I feel a gentle hand on my back, Yes, I am not alone. I swallow my fear and step forward, one step then another, A racing heart and wide eyes. My feet are burned and pricked. It's okay, For they make my battle scars. I keep moving, steady and strong, Through shards of glass and raging storms. I still stumble, I still fall, But I get up and I stand tall. I still break down at nights, Then wipe my tears and move on. I look up at the brightest star, With a spark in my eyes— I move on. ~M.Sora