False Freedom

I am free. Alarm drilling me to wake up, I laugh, shut up! It's telling ME what to do? I refuse! So I curl stubbornly Eyes fresh, but forcing myself to sleep Because I want to lounge to my hearts content Ah Life is sweet. I do not submit. It is late afternoon. Half the day is gone. What others around me have secured, I am unaware I don't care. What shall I eat? Pulling cupboards open, rechecking the stocked fridge .. Ah there's nothing to eat! It might aswell be empty. Just like this house It is empty.. a barren land. Dead quiet, apart from the ticking of the clock's hand. No pestering adults, no hyper children Haha I am free To do as I please.. Whatever remains of the day Passes by in a blur. Filled with wild car chases, girl chases, Hovering in the parks, Young handsome sharks. Roaming the shopping centers My friends and I Aimlessly, killing time, die quickly die. Do I feel hungry? Naah not really. But it's time, so I guess I should eat. Can't have me getting weak! Haha I can take care of myself. Sitting alone in my favourite cafe, My favourite dishes, my company. They don't trouble me; Sitting silently looking pretty Staring at me ... pitifully? But I am free... Did I doze off in the car? Screen time, scrolling, that's my Me time It's already night time? I guess it's... home time. Ping! Notification Monthly assignment, dissertation Deadline Tomorrow!: an angry declaration from a neglected and failing education. I'll ace it! C'mon, lets face it. I'm the highest achiever Without lifting even a bloody finger I am free. I enter the dark house, Like a mouse. A pest? A guest? But there's no one to host me. I chose not to, Wash the dishes, Feed the fishes Open the windows Take out the bin I win! Why? Because I am free ofcourse! I will when I feel like it Dammit! The sickly sour smell snickers mocking me Are you actually free? I push open the window, A cool breeze billows Whispering: hello, You know.. The comforting shade of a parent Is not suffocating bro.. An encouraging warm hand Is not controlling at all. Questions regarding your wellbeing Are not interrogations, but genuine phonecalls to see how you're doing. A bustling house filled with loved ones is called a home.. I now know I chose to be alone. I am not free. Instead I enslaved myself, Pushed away others, fought endlessly, Followed my whims and desires so obediently, unwavering loyalty. Yes sir! No restrictions, no boundaries. Living dillusionally. I have chained myself to me Self slavery. Someone, anyone Please save me...