FALSE INFATUATIONS

i was reluctant to remediate the debris caused by your hate

hateful provocatives 

instructions for my fate

it was better left unscathed 

such discombobulated pieces slowly gravitating me toward my grave

it was much more favorable to remain a mess

than to reconstruct myself and fall less,

disappointing you.

you've always hated me, despised me even.

thing is, i've always loved you.

you revived me even.

until your weapon became my thoughts 

wringing out my faults, 

disinfecting the cuts YOU caused with iodized salts.

I thought.....

I was nothing

but I still desired to be something

and your words destroyed any possibility of that. 

You broke me down, you dehumanized me,

You shut me out, you immunized me

I became numb. I got used to it.

Dissociation, thanks for that.

However, you were a lesson, if anything, beneficial to only my progession.

So, thank you.

Thank you for the abuse, I know how to love myself now.

Thank you for taking me to my steep lows, so I could reach my highest. 

Thank you for your ignorance, I now remain enlightened.

Thank you, for everything, genuinely,

Thank you.