False pretenses

by Blujuup

December 31, 2019

The false pretenses dropped

The moments up and the time comes

giving parts of me is making me feel dumb

What a tragedy for me to have to put my walls back up

I’m a fucking volcano willing and ready to erupt

Coming to the point where it’s causing too much conflict

Your sneaky ways becoming easy to predict

Where maybe enough is enough and it’s time to let you go

For feelings you lack and love impossible for you to show

You keep failing me,

making me believe you don’t want us to be

Is this all on purpose what you’re doing to me

Taking away what was once the better part of me?

Out of spite you test me

Slight of hand confusion to what you don’t want me to see

break me, trying to change me

So complacent you are with ease it’s clear to see

You’ve already won me, what further more could there be?

It’s time to put the pieces back together whether you’re here or not

And I think we both know you aren’t interested In helping me untie those knots

Step aside if you aren’t going to take the lead

Let me take my own life at my own speed

Find my own way where morals are all my choice

If deception is what you’re after give me back my own voice

Where all this is on my shoulders to bear

for me to keep promises to myself and to what I hold dear

If you want to stay in my heart then stop breaking it apart

Heeding my warning would be a great start

Can’t keep on this path of your way or no way

Can’t keep doing things like this if you want me to stay

Your drowning me in all your malice

This is supposed to be a partner ship , something that’s balanced..

Trust you blindly?

You mean after asking me so kindly?

For you to stab me where it hurts most

Right after your trusting speal you made sure to boast

Except you didn’t.

It was a dry cut ultimatum of trust me or nothing at all

You hit me with intent just to watch me fall

Really starting to feel you don’t want my trust in you at all

Don’t ask me for redemption

Did you think when it came to my trust you had preemptions?

It takes time to heal with wounds this deep

What makes you think I’m ready to take that leap?

Building me up just to tare me back down

No wonder I have high walls to the sky from the ground

Burning bridges is what I will do if that’s what it take for me to be found

Feeling invisible to you, I could scream, you wouldn’t flinch..

I give you a mile and you can’t even give me an inch

All jokes aside , I am trying to abide

Trying to be the woman you truly want by your side but these emotions building up and I keep trying to stuff em down

There’s no where for them to go but around and around

All because you don’t understand, instead you choose to ignore

Instead of trying to get to know me down to my very core

The fury, the rage, the war going on inside me

And you don’t care to listen to the things that I need!

Just trying to find a release but with you I just feel drained

Any time I try to vent you just say I’m insane

It’s not my fault I have problems, Faults to blame on people like you

I turned a blind eye to the gossip , trying to trust what you said was true

You ask for space all the time, like you don’t have enough?

We’ve lived together over a year and you haven’t bothered unpacking your stuff...

You want space you got it,

I’ll give you all the time you need

Ill make peace with you for me, I hope whatever your goal you truly succeed

For my own broken heart I’m forced to protect

For with my feelings I hold you seem to forget

From you who broke me and keep continue to do

Nothing we do will ever be new

This cycle you’re trying to force on me, a change will never come

And trust won’t either , if this is the sum

I won’t let you shatter me again or bring me to my knees

Stop treating me the way you are, I ask and beg of you please

I will leave, without a second look to you,I will start new

Don’t force me down this path this is not what I want

A life without you but forever in my mind you will haunt

Stay blind to what I’m saying and you will surely see,

This life isn’t worth shit if you don’t start thinking of me

-Bluejupe94

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