F.A.M.I.L.I.A

Hearing Dad wake up every morning at 4 o'clock knowing that he won't come back home until 12 o'clock
that same night 
hurts me. 
Hearing my mother having to wake up and take my father to work , knowing that she has to go to work later on that day
hurts me. 
Looking in my mothers eyes and seeing bags under them due to lack of sleep 
hurts me.
Knowing that we only have 1 car in very bad shape 
hurts me. 
My brother Ainsley, the high school football star in NC attending JUCO although he was probable to play D1 coming out of highschool
Hurts me
Asking my parents for lunch money or new clothes 
hurts me.
What would I change?
My parents do everything they can do just to provide a living for my 2 brothers and sister. 
Me being the baby in the household makes me accountable for visualizing everything that happens. 
I see the stress, 
the disappointments, 
the smiles, 
the laughter,
but most of all... the bond.
Disappointing times and moments surround my family
like a pool of sharks waiting to attack its bait.
It makes us stronger. 
It makes us wiser.
As a whole.
What would I change?                                                                                                                   Constantly hearing " we just want you guys to be better than us" and"we wish we could've gave you all a better life" stabs my heart.

I moved to DC two years ago.

Anxious, Nervous, Hesitant on what the future holds for me.
New school, new friends, new "home" 
"Home" was my uncle's basement
The 6 of us in a tiny basement.
I didn't want it.
Sleepless nights.
Non-dreaming sleeps.
I dreaded. 
I try and do work hard for everything.
Not for myself but my family. 
What would I Change?
I show all my pain on the football field and the weightroom.
My sanctuary. 
I picture them at all times. 
The passion I have for the game shows why I want to be 
a Sucess.
I was named team captain of the football team.
I give it my all every single play because I think of my family. 
I lead. 
Everyone, including myself,  is waiting for my uprising in playing college football.
I earned it.
I feel as if I deserve a lot of things. 
I've been through and overcame so much that I feel I'm inferior to anything and anyone. 
Receiving a scholarship for college is a reward to not only myself but my father
for waking up those early morning for 17+ years
Mother, having to manage to put food on the table every night and working long shifts 
My two brothers, Ainsley and Dennis, motivating me to be GREAT and utilizing our hardships as an advantage to change the world. 
My sister, Nadenia, being my #1 fan at all games and being one of my best mentors.  
I want it badly,
I want it even more badly for THEM. 
My F.A.M.I.L.I.A.