Family Is Everything

Dear my best friend,

I have finally built up the courage to tell you my life story.  My family is the most important part of my life and when talking about them it opens a soft spot in my heart.  I am sorry it took me this long to tell you about them, but now I am ready.

Playing sudoku with Nonna at her house. Cream carpet, tan couch worn with corduroy cloth, feet up, General Hospital playing in the background...feelings of warmth, nothing else mattered, Nonna would plow through the sudoku because we had competitions on who could finish their puzzle faster.

I come from a close-knit Italian family; my Nonna and Nonno moved here to Middletown, Connecticut from Melli, Sicily about fifty years ago.  All the cousins, aunts and uncles followed as well, who had to work for everything they owned and being brought up by them made me more grateful for the life I live.  My grandparents worked with no real education, all for their children.  Once they saved enough money, my Nonno built a house in Haddam, Connecticut.

Visiting them was always an event.  Driving down the small windy road, dodging all the fallen branches and finally reaching the edge of their steep driveway.  Excitement flooded my three year old eyes as I sat with my dad in his old truck, as soon as he parked I would run up to the back door of the red brick house and ring the doorbell, legs all jittery, huge smile on my face.  My Nonna would open the door and say my name with warmth in her voice, and I could smell the aroma of whatever homemade dish she was making.  Their house was my home and nowhere else made me feel more loved.

In July, 2004, my Nonno passed away due to cancer.  This was a struggle for my family growing up.  Every year we got together at my Nonna’s church for a mass in honor of his memory and my aunt would make a family calendar for my Nonna every Christmas, dedicated to him.

Growing up without a grandfather made me close with my great grandparents as well.  Down the street, lived my Nonna’s parents, who I called Nonno and Nonna Merlino.  Nonno Merlino was always cutting the grass or working on his garden, so whenever my dad took me to visit I would spend time with my Nonna Merlino.  However, she was not just someone who spoiled me with her homemade biscotti, she was my friend.  Out of the hundreds of family members we have, she always remembered her great granddaughter's name.  “Alexia! Gioia!” I would hear coming from the living room.  She did not know much English, but that did not stop us from having fun.  We created handshakes and watched the game channel on television, although she had no idea what they were saying most of the time.  

As I started growing up, I became busier with school and could not visit as often, so she had my sister and me make sure to see her every Halloween with our costumes.  The last Halloween at her house she could not even say my name; she was diagnosed with alzheimer's that year.  I knew she could not remember who I was, but I still had to show her my costume, like she always wanted me to.  Her memory got worse very fast and she had to stay with my other family in East Haddam so they could take care of her.  In the beginning of 2012 she passed away.  I thought my world was over, something as simple as getting out of bed was really hard.  

However, the one constant in my life has been the empowering backbone of support from my family.  We have been through so much together and continue to lift each other up.  My friends have asked me in the past what it is like to be a part of such a huge family.  Well as a girl who has their third cousins as their best friends on snapchat, I can say I would not trade my family for the world.  I love them to death; friends may come and go, but my family is here forever.

I hope you can keep this in between us.  Thank you for listening to me.

Your Best Friend