Fantasy or Reality?

People say that I am impressive,

that I am brave,

that I am smart,

that I am beautiful,

that I have it all together.

What farce do they see?

I do not deceive on purpose.

What else could't be but deception

knowing the way I feel?

I am not brave.

They don't see the thoughts

that encircle my head

even while I do a "brave thing."

I am not smart.

Do they not understand

the hours of work I put in,

just so I can make the grade?

I am not beautiful.

The cannot see the things

I see.

They cannot understand

my overwhelming desire.

I do not have it all together.

If I did would I cry like I do many days?

Would I feel so empty?

Would I be so pained?

In the end

I am not impressive at all

just very good at pretending.

It is not so hard to pretend

Only some days I wish the world would end.