Farewell

This is a formal farewell to the old me
The one that everyone said I couldn't be
I guess I am tired of the haters
One day my success will speak for itself now or later
I wish I could do it all over again
Not waste my time on those so called friends
You see over the years I've been through a lot
A lot of this shit could never be taught
Because the world is full of so many evil people
Don't matter if we were painted the same color
They'd never make us equal
So curse the man that judged me by my color
'Scuse me if I sound rude, but I am being smothered
By this hypocritical, satanistic ground I walk on
If I was half the person  I claim to be
I'd still be strong
But now I am weak
As the face of death stares back at me
Telling me just one more pill, cut a little deeper, stay under the water longer
                             ...
But after the tears stop falling from my eyes
A part of me starts to realize
That pain is an incurable disease for me
I will forever be drowning in a pool of deceit
If you ask me if I'm ok, I'll lie and say yes
One thing about pain is that you learn from the best
I have been backstabbed by those who were once close
Now my mind is ill and I'm losing control
I'm falling down a mountain called self-destruction
Beyond fucked up in the brain is how I function