Father

Trapped in the confusion and my tongue tied with the words

“I miss you” and “How dare you”

Self-doubt and perfection issues stem from wanting to please an absent biological figure

Trust issues stem from your manipulation of a young innocent soul and naive heart

Though your absence leaves a burden on my heart and soul, I’m terrified of ever having to face and reveal my pain to the man, whom had created me,

If I’m so smart

If I’m so loving

If I’M SO BEAUTIFUL AS A PERSON

Why don’t you come back to me?!

Why don’t you call?!

Every night tears roll down my face

Wasting track phone minutes calling and calling and calling…

But never a single answer

Questioning if I even deserved the life I live or what I have

Questioning  my purpose in life.

Constantly thinking I’m unworthy of the absent half of my life…