Father

See, I've got this irritating repetition of the letters D-A-D circling in my head Like the big hand of a clock, stuck on the same one number Three irrelevant letters hat keep attempting to creep into my future But lined up along the path of my dreams are dollar signs that begged to be paid for FAFSA and PHEAA keep looking for the man who "should be" in my life But I just check off "whereabouts unknown" because that's the quickest way to pardon from any responsibility he's never known And you ask me why that's the case? Try to peer into the looking glass of what once was And there she is Eight years old and in court trying to make sense of what she ever did to have been dealt such a lousy hand of cards And it replays in her head Like a movie reel Like day into night Like a field of windmills that are perpetually in motion Where were you when I needed you? Where were you when I needed you? Where were you when I needed you? Because I was alone Because what once was, never was Because you weren't there when someone decided to play God with the first few years of my life And I can't help but to let anger build inside me Like the swelling of a violin solo played exclusively for me Except that the melody comes to a screeching halt Every, Single, Time. But you don't get that do you? No, you wouldn't Always to wrapped around the beer can you show affection to Always chasing after women who cannot satiate your heart the way a daughter can Always too busy finding anything to fill the nothingness that thrives inside of you You will always be there father It's my bitter pill to swallow and that cross I need to bear You are forever my anger's soul mate But you are nothing more than that