Fear

Dear Fear,                                          

Throughout the past few years, you have controlled my life. I have hated you and many times, I haven’t been able to overcome you. In many dreams, thoughts and conversations, you have been in control of many of my thoughts and emotions.

Softball was my passion in high school and most of my childhood. You were never in my mind while I was on the field but senior year, you took over my mind and body. The fear of disappointing my coach and team was always on my mind as my shoulder began to hurt. As my shoulder started to hurt worse, the fear of never being able to play my favorite sport again took over my life. Physical therapy lessened my fear but the pain would always come back and make the fear grow more. After my final season, the MRI showed tendonitis and put me into six months of rest. The fear of surgery was gone but another one came as I couldn’t play anymore sports in high school.

You have came to me in so many dreams to make me wake up in a cold sweat. The dreams you have put in my head have mad me scared of showers. Showers. What person is afraid of showers? The thoughts you have put into my head of dying in a shower have made it so that I can’t be in a shower longer than  ten minutes. I can’t trust a curtain to not be against the wall. I must lock the door before I even turn on the water. You have taken over my mind and have destroyed my ‘normalcy’ in society.

Today I am taking a stand. Today I am saying that you can not control my life. I will not let you. No longer I will live in fear. Fear, I have always hated you, but today, we will no longer have to deal with each other.

 Never going to love you,

Brooke Corliss