Fear of Being Seen

Look me in my eyes and tell me what you see

Tell me anything except a girl with a broken family

You can say you see a crazy lunatic

Just don't poke any deeper with your therapist stick

Keep everyone at a distance and you save your soul

But even I dream of having one person I can call my own

I dream of happiness and wealth

Only my wealth comes in good health

Mentally, I'm drained

Spiritually, I'm sprained

I want to scream to the heavens just how I feel

But I'm scared so I keep it in and beans never spill

Scared of what? Scared of who?

Scared that someone will see you for who you are

See me as something other than a ride just like a car

I'm more than a "good time", I'm a real person

I'm more than a body to feel on, I'm somebody to love 

Scared to let you in so I keep you at a distance

Scared to lose you so I just forget your whole existence 

Scared to keep you for fear that you can see me

See me for who I really am

It's my biggest dream yet my worst nightmare

For seeing who I am brings up troubles that I'd rather not face

I trust a pen more than people so I write my frustrations down

Because a pen has never hurt me nor made me frown

I live a double life

One of tears and one of joy

Only my pillows have seen my tears because only my pillows are my support

It's not you that I'm scared of 

I'm scared of me and how I feel

I feel everything so strongly that I feel I hold my tears against their will

Don't fall, don't fall because they can't ever see

See how I really feel because what good does that do me?

Okay let's talk about it but there's nothing you can do

If you don't talk about it then its nothing to face

So I start off another day and finish another race

 

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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