“Fear of Failure”
By:
Tinika Cudjoe

Fear of failure, so I make it my motivation and turn it into a fight.
Can’t accept it because I’m not the only person I’m letting down in sight.
I have a child I need to fight for.
I have a family that needs me to fight and to be sure.
I’m afraid of failure so I stay up at night.
My mind is contemplating on what to do or make right.
I can’t fail my child, she needs a better life.
One I dream of,
One I think of throughout the night,
One I know that we will be alright.
I can’t fail my future,
It’s right here at reach.
It’s not riches or fame.
It’s knowing I can go another day seeing and knowing my future and my child will be alright, with everyone I need in sight.
I refuse to go a day without food on the table, each and every other night.
I refuse to go a day seeing my child go through days without things she need to be alright.
I can’t go a day without knowing I finally have myself together so everything will be alright.
A good job,
A roof over our heads,
Are the only material things we really need to break this peek, which I declare we will see through with all my might..
Lord knows the fear of not being able to provide or have money in my pockets, puts fire in my heart and soul.
I pray a prey of fear.
I pray a prey of faith.
I pray a preyer that I’ll make it through yet another day.
I pray a preyer that my child will be well taken care of.
I pray preyer that I will be able to provide beyond what I grew up around.
I pray preyer that my daughter will be happy, smart, creative and follow her dreams.
I prayer a prey that my family will have their break through yet unseen.
I prey a prayer that my daughter will be able to handle the truth about how her life become so stew.
Lord don’t leave nor forsaken me.
I need you here each and everyday.
Lord I need you now in the time of fear.
Lord I need you now, this is the truth not a dear.
Through it all you never left me.
Through it all you was my protector within my fears.
So lord please now, don’t forsaken me.
So lord please now, tell me you hear me.
So lord please now, tell me you’ll keep me.
So lord please now, don’t let anything break me.
So lord please now, don’t let them take me.
So lord please now, grab me in the time of need.
So lord please now, hide me from what isn’t for me.
So lord please now, tell the enemy to step aside, please.
So lord please now, don’t let or allow fear to take me.
You open doors and gave me my own family.
So lord please now, I’ll give you what you need from me.
When I didn’t think there was anything left for me.
You grabbed me and made me see:
Through the disappointments,
Through the pains,
Through the heartaches,
Through the lonely nights,
Through the depression,
Through rebellion,
Through the abuse,
Through the advantage nights,
Through the abandonments,
Through the unsure days and nights,
Through the anxiety,
Through the postpartum,
Through the post traumatic stress disorder,
Through the fear of my baby being taken away,
Through the aggression,
Through the anger,
Through the denial,
Through the despair,
Through the homeless night,
Through the hunger,
Through the hate,
Through all of my lost ones.
You gave me light,
You gave me knowledge,
You gave me a home,
You gave me love,
You gave me hope,
You gave me energy,
You gave me life,
You gave me food,
You gave me money,
You gave me security,
You took a way as much pain as possible,
You made me blind to the unseen things done to me,
You gave me back things taken away from me,
You gave me purpose within the dark times,
You gave me a push away from where I stood in dangers arms and sight,
You rebirth me and declared me as yours.
Lord there is no one like you and that’s why I’m yours.
And that’s why I’m afraid of failure.
You gave me so much I should be able to use, in order to be able to push forward.
I fear failure because what I have now you gave to me to hold.
I want to cherish these things and take great care of them.
Yet fear, the enemy, is trying to take ahold.
I pray a prey to rebuke fear.
Failure isn’t an option in my hands.
I am a child of God who’s taken me into his arms.
I’m a child of God and he knows who I am.
I’m not a perfect child, but who is?
No one is perfect but Jesus.
I’m a child of God who still sins,
But as a child of God I can look deep within.
As a child of God I know where I am wrong.
As a child of God I repent.
As a child of God he hears my cry.
As a child of God, I carry you deep within.
Take me under your arms once again,
And keep me far from the enemy’s hand.
I don’t want to go back to them.
Cradle me again.
I am a child of God,
Hear me say this again.
I am a child of God,
Who loves from deep within.
I am a child of God,
And only he can tell me if I’m worth the win.
I am a child of God,
So don’t tell me who he isn’t.
I am a child of God,
So don’t tell me he wouldn’t forgive.
I am a child of God,
So don’t tell me his work is make-believe.
I am a child of God,
I’m here to tell you…My God IS my win.