Fear keeps me breathing

she should gouge them out she should scar them permanently she should paint them white all over then they won't have to see the pain inflicted but that means she'd have to hear she can pour acid down her ears she can drive a pen too far down the hole she can play sound till her eardrums shatter then she wont have to hear the words that tear her apart each day but then she would have to feel freeze her heart ice cold drown my soul endlessly become the master of numbing emotions but all that is impossible there's no way to escape this misery or maybe, just maybe, this life has to end but she is afraid, afraid of the unknown afraid of what might not be there afraid of not feeling despite hating it so much she is afraid and thus doomed to an eternity of misery