Fear of the Last One

Fri, 03/01/2019 - 11:00 -- CJ4565

Most people are afraid of spiders or public speaking,

Or maybe dark rooms and floor boards creaking,

And while these may perhaps be on my list

I have this one phobia that doesn’t... technically exist,

Because, well, I looked for its name online and found none,

But as you’ll see, it’s real to me,

So I’ve decided to call it the “Fear of the Last One.”

I know, I know, it sounds insane. Just let me explain.

See, I’ll watch a show, all 250 episodes, except,

I’ll stop at 249.

It’s fine,

I mean, who need to watch the last one?

Then, I’ll open every single box just so I won’t finish any type of cereal.

I won’t start a project if it will use the last of some material.

Sometimes I won’t read the last book without

waiting for at least one or two more to come out,

And yeah, I’m that person,

You know, the one that leaves a single swallow in the milk jug.

But this is the small stuff...

What I’m really afraid of is...the last hug.

The last swing on that rusty old swing set,

The last teddy bear that was snuggled with.

The last dance, that last chance,

The last words, the last note, the last letter they wrote,

The last silly, crazy, outrageous dream!

The last sun ray’s fading gleam.

The last box they move out of your room, leaving it an empty shell,

The last glimpse of your house as you drive away,

The last good-bye you yell.

The last day spent with friends,

And then…

It ends.

 

So I guess I was wrong, I've misnamed my phobia all along,

As it would better be called the "Fear of Endings."

And this fear, it’s not living in my head,

So much as it’s living right here

In my cracked heart instead.

But you know, a very wise author once said,

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

And while I really do believe that sometimes it’s okay to do both,

It becomes apparent that endings are essential for growth.

Because the thing about endings is that

They’re usually followed by beginnings,

Which, don’t get me wrong, can be just as terrifying

But they always have that promise underlying

That they’ll bring you somewhere new,

Somewhere you never thought you’d go,

And though I’m not certain of  much, this is something I know:

That as life flows, there will be a stop and a start and a stop and a start

And sometimes it will snag and you will find

That you’ve left behind a piece of your heart.

But it’s okay,

Because somehow it always grows a little bigger anyway.

 

So yeah, if you put out a plate of cookies

I’ll never take the last one,

And maybe I’m the only one,

But when it’s all said and done

I know everyone

Is at least a little

Afraid of endings.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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