Fear of My Own Failure

Opening my grades sucks the air out of my lungs.
My jaw tenses as I see the one grade that is lower than the rest.
What about med school? Grad school?
My mind is telling me that I failed, but...
Others have failed worse than me.
Why am I still mad at myself?
It is because I hold myself to this stupid standard.
Why do I belittle myself?
Self-love is a foreign concept.
It took time, but college taught me that nobody is perfect.
An A in high school, is a B out here.
I have to work harder to even obtain that A.
I have fallen below my standard, but...
I realize that I did the best I could.
If I can't accept my small successes, who will?
For a person in my situation, I am succeeding.
I have worked so much to get to where I am.
I now appreciate myself a lot more.
I am not a failure.
I have done everything to meet my standard, and...
That is all I can do.

This poem is about: 
Me

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