Fear: the One True Mentor

Our mentors are sometimes our greatest fears

They’re our demons and monsters we keep hidden away

They aren’t friendly gurus or holy saints

They’re creatures of the night who feast on our weaknesses

But fear, in itself, is our greatest mentor

It keeps us alive

And the absence of it makes us feel safe

The hardest part of fear though, is when its from someone you love

Our alcoholic mothers and dead-beat fathers

We love them, sure, but the fear of losing them controls us

We tell ourselves we’ll be okay

That we’ll be fine on the cold nights alone

We convince ourselves we won’t make their same mistakes

That we’ll somehow be better than them

BUT THE FEAR-

The fear is always there. What if we end up just like our parents?

What if I don’t amount to anything?

What if generational cycles can’t be broken?

What if I CAN’T AMOUNT TO ANYTHING?

WHAT IF I CAN’T AFFORD COLLEGE, OR SUCCEED IN LIFE?

What if I end up alone like my mom and dad are?

What if my future child doesn’t like me?

Fear guides us. It guides me.

It is haunting and follows me around, but it teaches me right from wrong.

It’s taught me to not do stupid things

And to not follow in my parents footsteps.

But what if I could succeed?

What if I could be better than those who I fear?

What if fear is holding me back?

Fear maybe the one thing still dragging me down

But the fear of that is enough to make me accept it

And not change

I wonder if its possible for people to find a balance in fear?

It seems to have found a balance in the rest of us.