Fear of the unknown

I've noticed that I feel ignored. I feel like I was a burden and tiring. I do blame myself for that, maybe it seemed like I pushed you away but I was just scared. I was afraid I wasn't enough, that someone else would eventually be better than me and take what I cared for at any second . I was afraid that someone else was on their mind when the night time came. I put my feelings to the side and repeated to myself that I couldn't possibly give more of what someone else had already given them. That I would be compared. and after being compared they'd lose what they thought they felt about me.there was always someone in my ear, in my head. I preferred to not know then to go through with it. I regret that the most. I wish I could of seen how it went, with the good and the bad. But I let you go. There would be days where you wouldn't even look at me in my eyes. I would try to say hi and nothing. Days where you would be so happy, you would knock on my car window and smile. There were days where it was quiet and I would find you looking at me for a second and our eyes would meet without any words. Those were my favorite. Maybe one day you'll come back, or not. Either way I'll be okay.

This loneliness is a consequence of fear created by my mind. It doesn't even exist.