Fearless

I am terrified to talk to you

Looking at you reminds me of

Everything you’ve done wrong and

Everything I’ve done wrong and

The gap that keeps widening

Between Us

I am afraid of losing you

But I am also

Afraid of

Reconnecting

I’m afraid of getting attached

Like I did before

I’m afraid of being hurt again

Really,

I am afraid to trust anyone

I am afraid to trust you

And I wonder how foolish that sounds

Because I know how deeply I wish I could trust you

I am debilitated by this fear

And I hate that I am not over it by now

I hate that it has been two years and

I can barely look at you without

Thinking of how awful you made me feel

I wish I could have courage

I wish I could be brave and just talk to you

Without feeling like a failure

But I am so

Afraid of being hurt

And I hate that I’m not over it

I don’t know how I could be

You asked me what I call courage

The first thing out of my mouth

Is “fear”