Fears

I,

have issues. 

But probably not the kind you think. 

Mine were created by my father and big sister. 

By their relationship.

I have strived for a better relationship

to be better at everything than her. 

But I've given up. 

I no longer see the point

When you're sixteen years old

And you're more mature than your forty-three year old father. 

Even so I'm terrified I'll end up like my sister. 

Albeit she's doing well now

She's a teacher and is happy 

and, she hates our fathers guts. 

I don't blame her though

when you're father calls you a whore

And accuses you of sleeping around

because you go to school early to get help. 

I can see why. 

It doesn't help when he sides with his sister-in-law

And he tells you to "respect your elders"

even though she tried to burn you with a firework. 

I do blame her however 

for that dark cloud over my birthday. 

See the night I turned ten

she took those pills. 

She drank that strawberry Hill Boonesfarm. 

She tried to kill herself. 

But see I'm the only one who remembers the date

I remember every detail of that night. 

Every image

Every feeling,

Everything. 

I remember the red and blue flashing lights. 

I remember the gurney

I remember the cold of the night,

until I went numb that is. 

I have no respect for my father

when you do that to a child how could you. 

But I am terrified of that.

Terrified I'll end up like her

that I'll break

that I'll be the one on the floor unconscious. 

He was trying to do better

but I think he's given up too. 

And while my greatest fear is that I'll be like my sister. 

My second greatest 

is that I'll end up with someone like my father.

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 

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