feed me (this addiction)

a tug at the hair

a pretty room

with a putrid aroma

clean teeth

with a yellow stain

comfortable shoes

covered in dirt

a beautiful sweater

with itchy wool

much like those beautiful eyes

there is something always to ruin something so heavenly

those eyes that seem to break me down, every single time.

like a nicotine patch

to constantly feed me addictive qualities

iv's in my veins

pumping my with indecipherable sentiment

unintelligable warmth

every single time you put your hand on my shoulder

my eyes slowly close

and i feel the floor ascend to my knees

as they indepentently buckle and descend.

and in a farmiliar haze of emotion

and your all too recognizable scent

and in the moment my eyes open again

i am back to my stable feet

giggling as if all is swell

as if my heart is not trembling

beneath my goosebump ridden

icy cold skin

tension cursed existence

sweaty palms 

and a thought in the back of my mind

about how much i want to tell you

i know how much you love the snow

and how it reminds me of you

pale, and delicate

but full of fun, and stories.

and one day

whether i'm ready or not

whether you're ready or not

i'm going to tell

and like rain

we'll fall

in

or out of love

regardless

i know i will hit rock bottom because that is always what you do to me

if you've every laid sick in a hospital bed

iv's in your veins

you will know

the things that are supposed to make you feel so strong

can make you feel so weak

and the things that keep you stationary

will make you want to try harder than you every have

and you, my lover

my dear

my crystal

my snowflake

have never motivated me so much

while making me feel so weak

so as i set myself up for disaster

i beg of you

feed me

like a nicotine patch

feed me this addiction