A feeling

The emotion is gone

Swept clean from the slate,

My passion they say was stolen form clutches farther away.

A life I've ruined

All on my own

I'll own it now,

I'll love it now.

I can't shake the feeling I get when I stop for a moment,

A second in medieval time.

It's all coming back now,

Not the why or how,

But the thoughts of my hollowed self,

An empty soul, Or was it pit?

Nothing motivates you anymore and a shadow takes its place,

"A place you should be-"

"A place you'll never get-"

"Give up now while you've still got your head and please come lie with me in bed"

I can't fight it, not now

No more of this ongoing struggle

It makes me sick,

I make me sick.

You call me that name and I'll turn from tame to lit fuse.

With emotions so raw,

I wonder how I got here in the first place,

A step..then a failure

Turned loser..became whipping-boy,

More steps in the wrong direction

With help received but late to action.

The journey I made trying to find my way home.