Feeling

your words fill the void in my mind

its once barren landscape becoming true, alive

i stay curled up on my bed, your voice swiftly, pleasantly

surrounding my everything

my eyes stay closed and i listen,

listen real close to the memories you share

treasuring them

this is what it feels like to be an adult

i’m tempted to speak the words

that have long ago staked a claim on my heart

no one, alone, that’s not ME

the tears flow freely and the words are stuck

you apologize, worry, surprise

it’s not your fault- i whisper

but it is

this is what it feels like to be an adult

days fly by, illusions flickering in and out

a soft tick tock, enveloping me in dread

your voice is distant

its raspy hum leaving, slowly, gone

i no longer hear it

this is what it feels like to be an adult

chains clasp tightly, the pain like waves yanking me under

i’m suddenly submerged, water filling my lungs

all sensations, feelings, are snatched away

the current rocking my cold body, numb

where’d you go?

this is what it feels like to be an adult

abrupt shatter, i gasp, inhale - exhale

you're crying sadness, pain

it all echoes behind your voice

i’m no longer underwater, you pulling me out

i love you- the tears keep falling

you don’t apologize, not this time

this is what it feels like to be an adult

broken promises