Feeling Differently Now

As I s it here and think on what has happened.
Sitting here thinking on how did I get here?
Did I dream this as a child and didn't actually foresee this.
Never thought I would be hurting so much on the inside. 
Putting up a front so I can at least dodge a bullet for the night.
Trying to put on a brave face for the outer peace.
Not noticing that I was losing myself. 
You make it seem as if can't bleed.
You've cut me so deep that you play victim. 
You make me give you money making it seem as if l owe you something.

At this point where we are isn't there anymore.
Your not happy, you know and can tell I'm not happy
You make it seem as if I can't make it without you.
I was making it before you, I'll make it after you.
I can't be in this and be truly happy. 
From my soul. I feel rage from my soul. Feeling disgusted. 
You haven't gotten the ide of just leave. 
We're both damaged as it is. 
I've cut you deep, you've cut me deep.
You both need to call it quits.

Lord, I'm coming to you with an open heart and soul with an open kind.

I thank you the love, grace, mercy, everlasting touch. 
I come to you on my knees asking you protect the ones I know, the ones I don't. 
I ask you to find a way for them.

I ask you to walk with them. Lord, I ask you to continue to work with me. 
I ask you to stay with me and find the strength that I need for me and son.

Amen