Feeling On The Outside

Your there,

But your not,

Crowds are dancing,

Feeling on the spot.

People laughing,

People singing,

Heart is drowning,

Heart is missing.

Wanting to stay away,

From the joy and bliss,

Wanting to be alone,

Away from this.

Crowds a plenty,

Noisy too,

Take me back,

Dark single room. 

Friends are hugging,

Kissing too,

Leave me alone,

I don't want too.

Music is connecting,

Everyone in here,

Music is making,

My soul gone bare.

Festival planning,

Camping and caravening,

Know I should be singing,

No I'm not participating.

What is wrong,

With you today,

Go out, get pissed,

Your going to miss. 

Not sure I can take,

Much more than this,

I know it should be,

Heavenly bliss. 

Can't connect,

To a soul in here,

Can't connect,

Until I'm spiritually clear. 

Feeling of dread and despair,

Feeling like I just don't care,

Feeling like I can't repair,

Feeling like I should be elsewhere.

Won't take tablets,

Of a happy kind,

Won't take tablets,

Prescribed by a medical mind. 

Oh boy,

What am I doing here,

Trying to break out,

Trying to cheer.

I know this is deep depression,

I know this is certainly not heaven,

I know what I have to do,

I know but just can't seem to break through. 

Chip away,

At that impossible block

Chip away,

Until it becomes a large rock. 

Chip away,

Until it breaks some more,

Chip away,

Until you can really sleep and snore. 

Finally I get some bliss,

Finally you come into my life,

Finally I get to feel and kiss,

No more stress and strife.

No magic answer,

To get through hell,

No drastic solution,

To settle and quell. 

Just hard solid graft,

A stubborn kind,

A hard solid task,

Unbroken mind.