Feelings

I knew it wasn’t just me 

I knew something was not right 

When I started this diary 

and began to write 

Hurtful things about myself 

Depression and worry 

I wanted to kill my self 

I felt lonely and scared 

Why wasn’t my mother there 

I didn’t want attention

I wanted love 

I wanted some type of affection 

I wanted somebody to tell me the truth 

I wanted to not worry 

I wanted proof 

I became vulnerable 

To getting my feelings hurt 

I became to deep in to things 

Friendships, relationships, materialistic things.

I learned how to attatch myself to someone 

But then I didn’t know how to detach 

I failed to learn how to let go 

Of things that hurt me the most 

I wanted to feel something 

I thought I needed someone to make me feel good. 

I didn’t understand how to make myself feel good. 

I didn’t know how to love myself. 

I didn’t know you could be happy by yourself.

I didn’t wanna be shy anymore. 

I wanted more friends. 

I wanted to fit in more.

I didn’t understand when enough is enough.