I knew it wasn’t just me
I knew something was not right
When I started this diary
and began to write
Hurtful things about myself
Depression and worry
I wanted to kill my self
I felt lonely and scared
Why wasn’t my mother there
I didn’t want attention
I wanted love
I wanted some type of affection
I wanted somebody to tell me the truth
I wanted to not worry
I wanted proof
I became vulnerable
To getting my feelings hurt
I became to deep in to things
Friendships, relationships, materialistic things.
I learned how to attatch myself to someone
But then I didn’t know how to detach
I failed to learn how to let go
Of things that hurt me the most
I wanted to feel something
I thought I needed someone to make me feel good.
I didn’t understand how to make myself feel good.
I didn’t know how to love myself.
I didn’t know you could be happy by yourself.
I didn’t wanna be shy anymore.
I wanted more friends.
I wanted to fit in more.
I didn’t understand when enough is enough.