Feels like Rain

At my funeral

the men will wear black suits

and the women black dresses

there will be no pajamas

no tri-colored scarves

no plaid jackets

no ill-fitting black turtlenecks

no yellow rainboots with ink stains on the toes.

When I die, I would like to be buried

in my raincoat and my yellow rainboots

with ink stains on the toes.

So that the tears will roll off me

like they did in life.

Maybe I’ll even be buried in my pajamas,

I’ll never wake up and never have to change,

I can look God, or whomever in the face and say

“I can’t leave in my pajamas.”

Everyone knows that you can’t leave in your pajamas.

And perhaps a turtleneck,

and a tricolored scarf,

and a plaid jacket.

Maybe if I show up to the afterlife looking ridiculous

they’ll forget all the pretty lies I told

and every vindictive chuckle I had

at someone’s expense.