Fifth of Ten, First of Mine

Dear boy in the back of my English class,

I think of you when

My hands shake

And when the train stops for the pedestrian

And honks its horn at the jaywalking student

I think of you when

The sound makes me jolt

Awake

Dear boy on the iron parallel lines

I think of you when

I look out the window in tall buildings

When the walls inside are white

And the walls outside are grey

It is not going to rain today

But I could

I don’t exactly see your face clearly any more

I am not sure that I ever did

But I remember you were brown enough to be my brother

And quiet enough to be myself

Back when I was the intelligent one

Smiling one

Sitting close to the door

Dear boy with the blue coat

I never saw your body

I think of you when

My sister tells me to hide her razor

Where she can’t find it

Dear boy with parents and friends and shadows

I think of you when

My heartbeat slows

With the wanting to

Carry you back out of the air

I think of you when

My hands shake

And the train stops