Fight Back

Dear Anxiety,

You have control

You make me question my every move.

What will they think

what will they say

pounding and pounding in my head

Shutting down who I am, never letting anyone see it

You have to do this

You can’t do that

You want people to like you don’t you

You want people to accept you don’t you

Playing over and over and over

It never stops

It never goes away

Hear the people talking

Hear them

Hear them judge you

Hear them talk behind your back.

Hear them tear your name to pieces

See it

See the eyes

See those beady judgemental eyes that are always watching

Watching what you do

Watching what you say

Watching who you are

Feel it

Feel the words

Feel the eyes

Feel the pain.

Every time it’s just one tiny mistake

Every time it’s just one spec of being myself

And you come running to invade my brain

Invade me

I try to get rid of you

I say that no one cares

Everyone makes mistakes

I don’t have to be perfect

But then…

Punch!

Kick!

Slap!

I’m beaten to the bone

Crying

It doesn’t matter, no one cares

It doesn’t matter, no one cares

It doesn’t matter, no one cares

But again and again

Slap!

Kick!

Punch!

Yes they do!

See the eyes

Hear the words

Feel the pain

Crying

Hard to breathe

I need to hide

Nowhere to hide

Defeat

But one day…

Punch!

Kick!

Slap!

Slap back.

I love me

Punch!

Kick!

Kick back.

I love myself.

Punch!

Punch!

PUNCH.

I love who I am and accept myself

I am good enough

No more eyes

No more words

No more pain

I punch back

I kick back

I slap back

You are the one beaten to the bone

I will invade and defeat you

I will no longer worry about how other people see me

I will no longer worry about what other people say

I will no longer feel the pain of worry

I can succeed

I can fail

I can fail, but not be defeated

I know you will always be there in the back of my head, but I am in control