Fight the Fear

Fight. Kick. Reach the surface 

Splash. Scream. Hold your breath. Repeat. 

I’m getting tired, can anybody hear me?  

Scream louder, I can’t give up so easily. 

I am just a kid; I have a future to live 

Or do I? My life didn’t flash before my eyes 

I couldn’t see anything past the blur of the water and from the tears of my cries.  

Kick harder, but I’m tired. 

I could not touch before but now it seems like the floor is the only thing in my reach. 

Daddy I’m scared please take a moment from your conversation and look at me.  

Fight. Kick. Reach the surface. 

Splash. Scream louder. Hold my breath. Repeat. 

Why didn’t I keep my floaties on? Because I wanted to be like them.  

Because I wanted to feel like I could swim.  

Yells that don’t belong to me, calling for help.  

Somebody is pulling me out.  

With the strength I still had I latched onto them fast.  

I am safe now; I am out of the water.  

Fast forward 10 years, I am at GBYC in a pool that is 9 feet deep. 

I will only go as far as I can reach with my head above the water. 

My friends jumping off the diving board one right after another. 

And I? I was paralyzed with fear.  

“What if’s” swarming around my head.  

I had enough, I want to be a kid. 

Breaking the chain of threats, I dived in. 

Nine feet to the bottom felt forever away.  

But I knew that it was too late, and it had to be today.  

I reached the bottom and I kicked it for a boost. 

I opened my eyes I wasn’t even half way up 

I was running out of breath, but I wouldn’t give up 

So, I kicked harder, faster. I fought and I won.

I'm no longer a slave to fear, and my life has begun.