Fighting Our Past

Dear former boyfriend,

Just because you see me laugh, joke, and smile doesn't mean I don't hurt. Just because you've seen me cry, shake, and run doesn't mean I miss you. Sure I miss what we had but maybe I only miss the idea of the routine, the idea of having somone to spend the entire day with. But then again I think about the moments cherished by your side and at that instant I know that I still love you. However it's been months since we chose to go our seprate ways, several months that you've found happiness in someone else, several months that even I've lost hope for fighting our past and I simply gave up. I grew tired of waiting for the perfect moment to come when I would hear your voice whispering in my ear, feel your warm hands caressing mine, and hold you in my arms as I heard your heart pound through your chest. Life before you was long and lonely it was as a slow moving cloud from which only I sat from as I watched everything below me move at a timely manner and I only sit there with time ticking slowly. It wasn't until you came along and taught me how to fight my past that you helped me find my path, the path which I believed I would follow hand-in-hand with you. I prospered because of you, I grew because of you, I cherished because of you, I laughed because of you, and most importantly I loved because of you. By your side life felt as a sudden bliss and within that bliss I felt joy and happiness. Now I remain fighting our past on my own without you. Whatever you do, wherever you may end up all I want you to know is that you inspired and motivated me to find my path and for that I will be forever grateful. However things may have ended between us, you and I will always be my favorite chapter. The peace and happiness I feel today comes from knowing that I got to spend some of the best moments with one of the best persons I got to know. In the end I realized that it wasn't the routine I missed, what I missed was you and everything you transmitted. 

Signed yours truly,

Anahi S.