Figuring it Out

I remember the night we sat on your bedroom floor

and you looked at the scars you left down my neck

you cried to me and told me you were sorry

told me it would never happen again

and I'm a fool cause I believed you.

 Whenever your anger comes around you break your promise

and the vicious cycle begins again.

i can't seem to figure out why  you tried to "protect" me from my ex-boyfriend who had the same temper as yours 

i can't seem to figure out why the girl 

whom I call my sister whom, 

 who shares the same blood as me 

cant seem to keep her anger tainted hands off of me

Not only do you know what I've been through, 

We grew up in the same house, saw the same amount of drama

I guess you're a lot like Mama - can't handle stress well

& resorts to violence 

& I'm a lot more like Daddy than I think I am

I try to just smoke away my problems

Maybe I should get more in touch with my spirituality like he has

it seems like he's found some type of inner peace

& that's  exactly what I'm seeking 

but I don't know I'm only 19 

trying to maintain a decent college GPA is hard enough

and all people keep telling me is

the road to becoming a doctor is rough 

I don't need that type of negativity.

All I know is I've had enough.