Finding Grey

Chaos and peace and…

discipline and structure and…

abandon and wild.

Right,

Left, right, left, right, left, dark, light, black, white,

grey, grey, wise.

Combinations and grey.

But never enough and goes back to black and white and then feelings and then I explode red. Sad because I can’t control life and I can’t control me  and I don’t like the grey, and I don’t like the grey and I am supposed to try and I don’t know how and

IT

   IS

       SO

HARD.

 Left wanting not to cry, but Right says to and I do and I can’t control it and it

        hurts and makes me angry and sad and small and I just want to

    STOP.

But I can’t because life has to go on.

So I read because it combines the left and the right and the black and white and I finally, for a short time, can land on grey, even if it isn’t real.