Finding Myself In You

There is no such thing as forever.

That’s what I thought before loving you

You made it seem like the perfect fairytale

Not a single evil stepmother, big bad wolf, or witch got in our way

 

That was until you pulled out the sphygmomanometer

You know that apparatus that squeezes your arms just to measure blood pressure

Funny thing is that it wasn’t connected to my arm;

It was hooked to my heart

 

I gave you everything, my love

I ripped off every piece of me to fill in your missing parts

And you squeezed that apparatus.

You were in control of my most prized possession

You squeezed and squeezed and squeezed

And I was suffocated by your love

Suffocated by your kindness

Locked in your gentle stare

Embraced by the connection of our hands

 

And then all of a sudden

You ripped it off of me

Taking away all we knew

Forcing me away

 

I shouldn’t have given you so much

I shouldn’t have thought what we had was love

 

Love is about connection

Love is about communication

Love is about sitting down and reflecting on each other to see what we could do better

Because love never dies darling

Love has the potential of lasting forever.

 

But we didn’t lose connection;

You pulled the plug

Communication wasn’t the problem;

You just didn’t want to listen

You stood up and walked away and asked me

To take the blame

 

And that’s exactly what I did

I took the blame

Thought about what I did wrong to lose the love we once had

Until I realized I wasn’t the problem

 

I would have gotten down on both knees

I would have held your hands

And I would have begged for your love back

I would have cried a thousand reasons for why I was the one

On why you shouldn’t have given up on me

 

But that isn’t love

Begging is pathetic when the other doesn’t want it

You wouldn’t have felt the connection

You wouldn’t have felt the warmth between the palm of our hands

Your ego would have laughed at the river of my salty tears

You wouldn’t have seen the twinkle of my love through the windows of my soul

 

Because I loved you,

I would have crossed mountains and oceans

But because I love me

I will cross those mountains and oceans for myself

And if someone along the way finds her too

That person will be lucky to have what you lost

 

This poem is about: 
Me
Our world

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