Finding Myself In You
There is no such thing as forever.
That’s what I thought before loving you
You made it seem like the perfect fairytale
Not a single evil stepmother, big bad wolf, or witch got in our way
That was until you pulled out the sphygmomanometer
You know that apparatus that squeezes your arms just to measure blood pressure
Funny thing is that it wasn’t connected to my arm;
It was hooked to my heart
I gave you everything, my love
I ripped off every piece of me to fill in your missing parts
And you squeezed that apparatus.
You were in control of my most prized possession
You squeezed and squeezed and squeezed
And I was suffocated by your love
Suffocated by your kindness
Locked in your gentle stare
Embraced by the connection of our hands
And then all of a sudden
You ripped it off of me
Taking away all we knew
Forcing me away
I shouldn’t have given you so much
I shouldn’t have thought what we had was love
Love is about connection
Love is about communication
Love is about sitting down and reflecting on each other to see what we could do better
Because love never dies darling
Love has the potential of lasting forever.
But we didn’t lose connection;
You pulled the plug
Communication wasn’t the problem;
You just didn’t want to listen
You stood up and walked away and asked me
To take the blame
And that’s exactly what I did
I took the blame
Thought about what I did wrong to lose the love we once had
Until I realized I wasn’t the problem
I would have gotten down on both knees
I would have held your hands
And I would have begged for your love back
I would have cried a thousand reasons for why I was the one
On why you shouldn’t have given up on me
But that isn’t love
Begging is pathetic when the other doesn’t want it
You wouldn’t have felt the connection
You wouldn’t have felt the warmth between the palm of our hands
Your ego would have laughed at the river of my salty tears
You wouldn’t have seen the twinkle of my love through the windows of my soul
Because I loved you,
I would have crossed mountains and oceans
But because I love me
I will cross those mountains and oceans for myself
And if someone along the way finds her too
That person will be lucky to have what you lost