I hear it through my body

When the room gets real quiet

A heart beating this loud

Never brings me any silence

So I distract myself with the scenery

Of these people that I see

Who walk over and around me

As if I don’t mean a thing

They move quickly and swiftly

Like they’ve got some place to go

I’ll bet they’ve got someone at home

Who loves them more than I’ll ever know

In a world filled with people,

It’s a shame I don’t feel like one

Stuck in a rut of my own confusion

And a battle that can’t be won

 

Everyone seem to has this fire

Sparking wild underneath them

That keeps them going through the day

And even more when they need it

But when it comes to my own ambition,

It seems I’m caught in a drought

So every time I try to light that fire,

All it does is burn out

 

I hear them talk of their passions

Like writing and singing

With a society as talented as this,

I feel it is only boredom in which I am bringing

She has an audition in an hour

And he has to go back to work

They say this with smiles wide,

But I can’t help but feel hurt

Not with bitterness or envy

At the people they have become

But with anger at myself

For still living idle and numb

 

Sixty-hour workweeks did not cut it

And books simply bored me

Music was too difficult to compose

And an athlete, I could never be

Politics are not my cup of tea

And science is a bit too complicated

I used to like the idea of religion,

But now I cannot stand it

My list of hobbies was always short

And mostly made-up

So when the conversation starts

I don’t ever say much

My free time is spent idly

Trying to come up with an idea

Of how to get this fire started

And bring that “better future” near

 

They’ve all got different desires

That wake them without an alarm

I’m just trying to find the will to get up

And get through the day unharmed

They’ve all got their goals

That they arrange so neatly in their heads

Mine are a work in progress

Even though I have not started yet

 

They push through hardships

And have been to hell and back

But they did not let it burn them

Or allow their armor to crack

They used it as fuel

To those passions they pursue

That keeps them wired like a clock

Timing out everything they do

They’ll bring them up first in a conversation

Just to talk about them with someone

It’s their light at the end of the tunnel

And the ammunition to their gun

 

They all look so proud,

To have found what makes them tick

They have hearts to keep them going,

Whereas mine sinks like a brick

I’m sure I’ll find it, someday

After years of looking far and wide

And when I find what makes me tick,

Maybe I’ll know what its like to be alive