First

How long have I let
fingers dance upon my skin
with out my permission, but just
airy breaths that
they take as the same.
Do they not know that
my blood is not flowing south
but going cold
like ice?
Because my heart has been frozen
and I thought maybe
a hot touch could thaw it through.
From hiding under sheets
where the monsters awakened me;
To under desks
where I learned my true worth.
For years
bits and pieces of me
were stolen.
Pieces of my skin marked off
check here,
been there.
There was nothing
left for my own.
I was a peice of property
owned my finger tips and lips
that I did not approve of.
So do not take it so personally
when I let people dance on my skin
because that is how
I learned my worth.
As a child
love was never
hugs and smiles but
a proof of llive with
lips and teeth
whisphered threats
and harsh bruises.
That was the love I learned
and I am sorry
that I have given you
the last peice of me.
And I am not even sure
if it is the first time
but I am sure
that it is the first time
it has been willingly given.