First love

I always knew we were different

Your radiant smile and charismatic personality

Your mind was something you often spoke

Its like you were never afraid of anything.. 

the world was yours..

...and then you met me.

So shy, softspoken, insecure, and afraid to truly stand out. 

But you loved me. You saw me in ways I didnt see myself 

To you I was everything a good woman should be 

Kind.. giving.. selfless.. and beautiful.

And so you loved me

Like I loved you..

and you became like the sun to my days. 

You helped me laugh at my mistakes

You helped me laugh through the hard times

Picnics on sunny days, and scary movies on rainy days

Somehow everyday, was great.

Even the not so great ones

When I couldnt smile

When I didnt want to look at anyone

When there was a huge knot inside me making me want to curl into a ball

You would sit by me 

Hold my hand 

Thats all you would do..

and thats all you needed to do.

Cause once I looked up at you, your half smile told me everything..

It was ok to cry..

It was ok to be sad..

cause after all that, things would get better.

And I loved you 

I loved you more and more every day 

I loved you so much, I thought I was ready.

I wanted that happy ending with you.

Becasue I knew I loved you

I loved you..

I loved you like you were the only person in the world..

.But...

I wasnt the only one in your world..

..

For which ever reason you stopped loving me.

Just know it doesnt hurt anymore..

Every moment I spent comparing myself to someone else, thinking I wasnt enough..

Every night I stayed up listening to myself cry and my heart beat

Every time I spent hurting to a point I thought I couldnt brreath..

Just know thats all gone.

I love myself

and I am beautiful.

.. I am so beautiful

In ways even you couldnt see