The First Night

Don't you dare believe I just 'left' you.
My love will always burn inside of me for 'My Boo",
For you're the first and only who I let take a chunk of me.
​It stabs me inside knowing I waited 20 years for an AIT fling,
​I wish to take myself back from you sometimes,
​For I am disappointed for not keeping my promise to my body.
​I have exposed my flesh to man in every way it can.
​No piece of me will be saved for whose soul walks with mine.
​You changed me in more ways than you can imagine.
​Yes, you.
​You're naïve to what you have exposed to me and don't second guess the marks you left on me.
​No, not the ones left on my skin, but the ones that take seeds from my soul.
​For you have made a permanent mark on my body and heart that can't ever be taken back.
​It drowns a part of my soul as I am flooded by your leftover touch that burned through my skin,
And your illusive voice that rings through my ears.
​My thoughts are struggling to gasp for air above the crashing waves,
​and my heart beats against my chest trying to run away from the tar you poured into me.
I don't know when the storm will calm or when my heart will stop trying to escape.

But I will be okay.
One day.
​As I whisper to myself
​When I lie alone with no one but my cold body,
​terrifying thoughts,
aching bones,
longing skin,
racing mind,
raging anger,
poisonous tar,
​and the secrets from the wind of the storm choking me.
​But I will be okay.
One day.
​As I whisper to myself
When I lie alone.

​Without you.