First Time

searching for the attention i never got at home
for someone that makes me feel loved
I don't want to be alone
looking for a fix, feeling like a fiend
searching for a purpose
hoping for a dream
looking for someone who truly understands
looking for something that really can
make me complete help me stand
i think i found that person
and if i did i know its you
but you don't seem to believe me
like your hiding from the truth
i know i can't have you
like these other hoes
i know i really have a love for you
inside but it's kind of hard to show 
when ur denying me of what i need 
of everything i know
Rejecting me in every way 
ignoring all my calls
like you don't care what i have to say
you said it's just a closed doors thing
but i love you anyways 
and now my heart is broken. and i know for sure that you don't care
what we did was my dream 
and its quickly turned into a nightmare
i thought it was just a one time thing 
but my emotions played a part. And left me alone with a broken heart
because you got what you wanted 
and you left me wanting something more 
wanting your love, wanting your heart
now i have nothing, because you are my everything 
and you tore me apart
I'm so tired of this game that's being played on me
tired of hurting when the only thing i want
is for you to want me,
loving you is hurting me 
all i wanna be is a factor 
all i want is to be with you
to feel your skin on mine to hear your laughter
to wake up everyday and see you looking back at me 
i love you
but you're not attracted to me..
so immaculate;
your body, your mind 
i want to hear your voice 
i want you all the time
i want you to be mine
but you never wanted the same i would do anything for you but you seemed ashamed,
like you hated the way i felt towards you;
the way i cared but what you don't understand is that 
I would've been there when the other girls moved on 
i would've been there when i knew you were doing wrong 
I would've been there when you were at the bottom 
but loving you has taken so much away from me
i just wanted to be happy 
with you 
all i wanted was that to make you happy 
and that's the truth 
all i wanted was you 
but that's obviously just a unfulfilled ambition 
i just wish that you would listen 
i just wish that you would care about all the lonely nights i spent crying over you 
the way you took me there
the way you took my heart stepped on it 
then handed me the pieces
i just wish that you would look me in my eyes and believe this
believe in everything I'm saying instead of running astray and hurting me along the way and making me feel not okay and killing me on the inside
watching me cry
looking away as i die inside everyday I'm without you 
i guess you never really had a clue 
better yet i guess you never really cared
i know that...but still, if you called my name i would be running to your side-because no matter how much you hurt me: ill always be there...
you have a piece of me 
that i can never get back
i just wish i could distract 
you from all the things you got goin on so you could see
who's been there for you all along
my v-card is gone