Fleeing the Jungle

At the age of four my life was not a certainty.

To anyone but my mother.

You see i am a child of love, but a child outside marriage.

There was another woman,

and my father was a magician able to exist in two places at once.

But my mother was in love

Somehow able to look past the wife and the kids.

See life for young women where i’m from is hard.

With a system keeping the poor poorer,

and a society teaching young girls that her only saviour is a man.

It was simply a means of escape, an easier way- the only way known.

In 1987 my mother was 18 years old, and in need of work.

She found herself at Escala Impresoras, a publishing house, coming in for a secretary position.

She developed a relationship with the owner, the man who would soon be my father.

At the time my mother was in her first marriage, when she became pregnant.

In 1988 she was resigned from her secretarial position to care for her first daughter.

After the birth of my sister my mothers position had been taken, by a woman younger than her,

With no children.

But her relationship with the owner continued.

My sister was born 1989, and this same year my mom left her husband, and got a job at the electric plant, where she would work as a secretary.

The relationship with my mother and father continued on, and developed throughout the years.

Both being a sort of saviour for each other.

My father was a powerful man who provided my mom the liberation from poverty.

Twelve years later i am born.

I was the miracle that manifested all of my parents dreams.

For the first years of my life, i had the perfect family.

My father would be home after 5, and gone by 8.

There was a routine.

Although I have no memories of my father, i remember everything after.

The parts with him are just silent.

As silent as my family, because if his family were to ever find out i was born there would be no dream.

All of my worth would be gone.

Till the day it happened.

I have no recollection, but my mother recalls the phone ringing,

And answering, only to hear the voice of my fathers wife.

My mother also says i was sobbing when the phone rang.

She tells my mother that if anyone were to find out that i was alive, i would be killed.

Because where i’m from money buys all,

For 10 million pesos you could end a life, and to rich it is pocket change.

My father was nowhere to be seen.

This is where I start remembering.

In 2005 my mother, sister, and I move to capital city of Bogota in hopes to attain a visa.

As fleeing the country that my mother knew so well was the only option.

I believe my mother was not only running to protect me, but each other.

The life we would have to live, not only in fear of our lives, but in poverty.

Something that was seen as worse than death.

We lived in Bogota for six months until we were granted a refugee visa to the United States.

I still remember leaving the airport, waving goodbye to my entire family.

My sister was 16 at the time, and she had a plan for herself.

She had her entire life in Colombia, a life that she refused to let go.

It was just me and my mom.